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How Do We Create Greater Connection?

Jack Craven
April 12, 2016

We create greater connection and trust with our spouses, significant others, family, and friends through "sliding door moments." Dr. Gottman, an expert with over 35 years of research found that sliding door moments are "seemingly inconsequential everyday moments when we face the choice - to turn toward the person that we have an important relationship with, or turn away."   Stop and think for a moment. When was the last sliding door moment today? Did you see it?  How did you react?  When you were tired and your spouse needed your emotional support, were you there for them?  Did you listen and give them your full attention?  Or did you feel tired, and turn away by working on the computer, watching tv, hoping the moment will pass?  When a friend reached out to you, did you answer their call or let it go to voicemail? We have dozens of sliding door moments every day.  It is a CHOICE how we react to each of these opportunities. Can we recognize that these little moments are significant? Can we first NOTICE and place our attention to seek these sliding door moments in our lives?  Can we make a conscious choice to turn toward that person that needs our emotional support and connection?  Would you be willing to ask your significant other, "Have I been there for you?" See what happens when you find these moments, turn and face the person and truly be there for them.     

Jack Craven
Jack Craven is an executive coach to business leaders, and the teams and companies they lead.

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