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I'll be happy when......

Jack Craven
|
January 28, 2016

So many of my clients share a story about a person or thing that is preventing them from happiness.  I call this the "speck."  The speck could be a person at work (boss, co-worker on a team, etc); it could be a member of our extended family, a person in our community that we have contact with.  We believe that if only that person would change their behavior that bothers us, THEN we would be happy.  We try so hard to "fix" the situation for the outcome that we want. We ruminate about this issue.  We complain about the issue througout the day. We get more frustrated when the change doesn't happen. Does this sound familiar?  What is the speck or specks in your life?  We ALL have them!  The first step is merely to NOTICE this pattern of behavior.  NOTICE what it is that you want to change so strongly. NOTICE that we are being at the affect of the world when we do this.  We can try to change everyone in the world around us (there's only a few billion!), or we can change one person - ourselves.  We can try to change our EXPERIENCE to what is occurring and our PERSPECTIVE.  Making that change is taking 100% responsiblity for the circumstances in our lives.  It is not easy.  It's a dramatic shift.  Ask yourself, "what would I do with all of that free time and energy if I didn't spend it on that one nagging issue, that speck?"  What would you do if instead you spent that time and energy appreciating all that you have in your life,  your happiness and being fulfilled?  That sounds like a great new plan!  

Jack Craven
Jack Craven is an executive coach to business leaders, and the teams and companies they lead.

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